1 00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:02,922 Hey, amigo. 2 00:01:03,526 --> 00:01:06,360 Buenos, buenos or whatever. Heh. 3 00:01:06,529 --> 00:01:09,590 My rotund friend, since you are obviously very well-fed... 4 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,461 and I am a little hungry... 5 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:14,160 perhaps you could treat me to an enchilada or two... 6 00:01:14,336 --> 00:01:15,929 and I will sing for you, huh? 7 00:01:16,105 --> 00:01:17,471 Sin vergüenza. 8 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,233 Hey! 9 00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:23,638 Hey, you are very rude. I refuse to eat with you. 10 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,642 Give me your wallet, I will buy the food for myself. 11 00:01:33,889 --> 00:01:38,793 Policía! Policía! Policía! 12 00:01:39,228 --> 00:01:42,892 Policía! Policía! 13 00:02:04,253 --> 00:02:06,222 Open Channel D, please. 14 00:02:06,388 --> 00:02:07,754 Hemispheric relay. 15 00:02:12,862 --> 00:02:15,855 QV ready and receiving. Proceed with report. 16 00:02:16,031 --> 00:02:17,522 This is Feodore. 17 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,898 You may inform Mr. Waverly that I have just been beaten, robbed... 18 00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:23,505 and sung to by a very foul, smelly young man... 19 00:02:23,672 --> 00:02:28,201 who has probably earned himself at least five years at hard labor. 20 00:02:28,377 --> 00:02:30,505 At least, we hope so, don't we? 21 00:03:26,535 --> 00:03:29,300 Feodore's report from Chacua. 22 00:03:30,472 --> 00:03:34,307 Sarah, you're devastating, and I'm mad about you. 23 00:03:34,476 --> 00:03:38,277 Oh, no, you're not getting me anywhere near that secret map room again. 24 00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:40,416 Read. 25 00:03:43,652 --> 00:03:45,382 Uh-huh. 26 00:03:47,423 --> 00:03:50,552 Suppose, my darling, you wanted to build a fortress... 27 00:03:50,726 --> 00:03:56,165 you know, with guards, guns, maximum security... 28 00:03:56,332 --> 00:03:59,928 very secret, very impregnable... 29 00:04:00,102 --> 00:04:04,767 where would you put that kind of thing, that fortress? Hmm? 30 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:08,672 I don't know. I never wanted to be impregnable. 31 00:04:08,844 --> 00:04:10,870 Oh, I see. 32 00:04:11,046 --> 00:04:13,845 Well, I think if you were Thrush, you'd probably put it... 33 00:04:14,016 --> 00:04:18,818 where there were already guns and guards and security. 34 00:04:19,221 --> 00:04:22,851 Possibly somewhere like this. 35 00:04:23,325 --> 00:04:25,191 A penal colony in South America. 36 00:05:43,005 --> 00:05:46,373 We will turn the computer over to Thrush. Have your men prepare for the transfer. 37 00:05:52,247 --> 00:05:54,079 Cervantes, there you are. 38 00:05:54,249 --> 00:05:56,081 Come take a look. 39 00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:58,244 All right. 40 00:06:06,595 --> 00:06:09,190 We've just concluded at the British Museum in London... 41 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:13,598 and we are almost finished at the Huntington Library in California. 42 00:06:13,769 --> 00:06:17,171 And that completes our entire programming. 43 00:06:38,961 --> 00:06:40,725 Amazing. 44 00:06:43,432 --> 00:06:44,764 Look at it. 45 00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,134 Mmm. 46 00:06:50,139 --> 00:06:56,272 How I hate it with its inhuman perfection. Hmp. 47 00:06:57,246 --> 00:07:02,742 - In my day, young man... - We're no longer in your day, old man. 48 00:07:02,918 --> 00:07:05,285 Look at it, I say... 49 00:07:05,454 --> 00:07:09,915 all the knowledge in the world with one push of a button. 50 00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:13,085 That's the generation we're in now. 51 00:07:13,262 --> 00:07:17,723 Subjective error, human frailty, eliminated. 52 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,692 Look at it. 53 00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:24,835 And man shall not worship idols. 54 00:07:26,775 --> 00:07:29,768 And that's where it is. 55 00:07:30,612 --> 00:07:31,841 Where what is? 56 00:07:32,014 --> 00:07:35,644 The Thrush ultimate computer. 57 00:07:35,818 --> 00:07:39,311 A mechanical brain with a memory bank that has every tidbit... 58 00:07:39,488 --> 00:07:44,426 every fact, every bit of knowledge that Thrush will ever need against us. 59 00:07:45,627 --> 00:07:47,755 Well, what's that got to do with it? 60 00:07:48,263 --> 00:07:50,698 So if all Thrush has to do is push a little button... 61 00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:54,325 to have their policies mathematically computed... 62 00:07:54,503 --> 00:07:59,203 and their battle tactics perfectly planned... 63 00:08:00,442 --> 00:08:02,104 Sugarpie... 64 00:08:02,444 --> 00:08:03,444 Oh. 65 00:08:03,612 --> 00:08:06,514 The Thrush octopus makes few enough mistakes as it is. 66 00:08:06,682 --> 00:08:09,982 And that machine, once operative, could render it almost infallible. 67 00:08:10,719 --> 00:08:14,622 Will you get me the Oliver file, Miss, uh, Sugarpie? 68 00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:19,125 Yes, Mr. Waverly. 69 00:08:25,501 --> 00:08:27,333 Enter. 70 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,367 Well, young man, let's see. 71 00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:37,343 Forged passport, attempted robbery, assault? Tsk, tsk. 72 00:08:37,513 --> 00:08:40,005 Quite a colorful young fellow. 73 00:08:40,182 --> 00:08:43,516 Well, you'll find we are simple folk here. 74 00:08:43,886 --> 00:08:49,348 Up at dawn to watch the sunrise, plenty of hard work and the fresh air. 75 00:08:49,525 --> 00:08:52,324 Breakfast, of course, is continental style. 76 00:08:52,494 --> 00:08:55,953 Oh, hmm, yes, if you try to escape... 77 00:08:56,131 --> 00:08:58,862 we will sever the tendons behind your knees... 78 00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:02,163 so you will never be able to try that again. 79 00:09:02,337 --> 00:09:07,901 And naturally, we trust that over the course of the next, um, seven years... 80 00:09:08,076 --> 00:09:12,844 our relationship will develop into a warm and lasting friendship. 81 00:09:13,949 --> 00:09:15,474 Good day. 82 00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:31,925 Well, I beat you both. I've got a full house. 83 00:09:34,303 --> 00:09:36,966 Ahem. Come on. 84 00:09:39,908 --> 00:09:41,740 Deal them again. 85 00:09:45,581 --> 00:09:48,949 Hello. Yes, just a minute, please. 86 00:09:50,118 --> 00:09:52,644 Well, what do you want? I'm busy. Huh? 87 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:55,056 Oh, hello, Cervantes, where have you been? 88 00:09:55,224 --> 00:09:57,557 Admitting a new prisoner, governor. 89 00:09:57,726 --> 00:09:59,661 A rather special one, I think. 90 00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:04,528 The business of Thrush takes precedence over all of your silly prison paperwork. 91 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,669 I've told you that. 92 00:10:06,835 --> 00:10:09,168 You torture those poor devils on your own time. 93 00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:12,399 I believe I have seen the new prisoner before, governor... 94 00:10:12,574 --> 00:10:16,204 in a file I once saw prior to my joining computer security here. 95 00:10:16,378 --> 00:10:18,176 A file? What file? What file? 96 00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:20,880 If my memory serves me right, governor... 97 00:10:21,049 --> 00:10:24,076 the new prisoner, one Illya Kuryakin by name... 98 00:10:24,253 --> 00:10:27,917 happens to be an U.N.C.L.E. agent. 99 00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:29,820 We have less than a week... 100 00:10:29,992 --> 00:10:33,929 before Thrush takes the computer out of Chacua into the field. 101 00:10:34,162 --> 00:10:36,597 Sir, getting Illya imprisoned in the penal colony... 102 00:10:36,765 --> 00:10:39,792 doesn't necessarily guarantee he'll get a shot at the computer. 103 00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:43,427 Thrush must have a million electronic warning devices all over the place. 104 00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,198 Well, that's quite right. 105 00:10:45,574 --> 00:10:50,035 Powered by generators located somewhere in here. 106 00:10:50,846 --> 00:10:53,441 And that will be your job, Mr. Solo. 107 00:10:53,615 --> 00:10:56,915 Knock out the power that supplies their alarm system... 108 00:10:57,386 --> 00:11:03,383 so that Mr. Kuryakin can reach the computer and destroy it. 109 00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:06,118 Well, how do you propose I coordinate my activities... 110 00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:09,925 outside the penal colony with those of Illya in the inside? 111 00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:12,397 Observe. 112 00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:17,396 Miss Salty Oliver? 113 00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:18,972 Age, 26 years, field worker... 114 00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:22,771 for the International Society for the Improvement of World Penal Conditions. 115 00:11:22,944 --> 00:11:25,846 Presently assigned to the penal colony at Chacua. 116 00:11:26,014 --> 00:11:28,711 And authorized by international regulations... 117 00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:31,513 to go in and out of the place at will. 118 00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:35,089 Oh, I see. How do we get to her? 119 00:11:35,257 --> 00:11:37,590 She's here in New York, now. 120 00:11:37,759 --> 00:11:41,161 Making her annual progress report to the society. 121 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:42,855 And if we work things properly... 122 00:11:43,031 --> 00:11:46,468 she should be stepping into our offices in about an hour. 123 00:11:51,006 --> 00:11:52,474 - Good morning. - Good morning. 124 00:11:52,641 --> 00:11:55,440 I'm Miss Oliver. I suppose the hotel called you. 125 00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:58,375 Some myopic waiter stepped on the hem of my dress. 126 00:11:58,547 --> 00:12:00,277 Darned near on purpose if you ask me. 127 00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:02,714 - If you'll just step in the fitting room. - Okay. 128 00:12:02,884 --> 00:12:04,512 Yes, please. 129 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,485 Oh, you're to bill them, you understand? 130 00:12:07,656 --> 00:12:09,420 Yes, ma'am. 131 00:12:14,396 --> 00:12:15,625 Oh. 132 00:12:29,411 --> 00:12:30,771 You have any comprehension... 133 00:12:30,879 --> 00:12:32,780 - I understand perfectly, Mr. Solo. - Good. 134 00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:35,440 U.N.C.L.E. are the good guys. Thrush are the bad guys. 135 00:12:35,617 --> 00:12:36,846 Something of a simplifica... 136 00:12:37,018 --> 00:12:40,113 Grown men thrashing around like power-mad juveniles. 137 00:12:40,288 --> 00:12:42,689 What kind of television do you people watch? 138 00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:45,123 If you'll just remain quiet for one moment, I... 139 00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:47,558 Oh, and the bad guys have this secret computer... 140 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,789 who does everybody's laundry or something. 141 00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:51,933 I mean, really, the whole thing's absurd. 142 00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:53,902 Not quite as absurd you may think it is. 143 00:12:54,069 --> 00:12:55,298 What is all this anyway? 144 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,907 Have mercy on me for one moment and listen to what I'm trying to tell you. 145 00:12:59,074 --> 00:13:00,372 What do you think I'm doing? 146 00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:03,102 I realize the whole thing seems a bit fantastic to you... 147 00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:04,678 No need to be rude, you know. 148 00:13:04,846 --> 00:13:08,510 - I mean, after all, I didn't ask... - Is it possible for you to be quiet? 149 00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:10,515 Could you be quiet? 150 00:13:11,086 --> 00:13:12,554 Well, it is possible. 151 00:13:12,721 --> 00:13:16,556 Now, if the Thrush ultimate computer is used... 152 00:13:16,725 --> 00:13:19,786 there's very good chance that half of the people in the world... 153 00:13:19,961 --> 00:13:23,227 will be subjected to a subservience far worse than the poor souls... 154 00:13:23,398 --> 00:13:26,266 that you administer unto at the penal colony. 155 00:13:26,635 --> 00:13:28,126 Does that sound like television? 156 00:13:28,303 --> 00:13:29,430 Well... 157 00:13:29,604 --> 00:13:32,972 Oh, for goodness sakes, what do you want me for anyway? 158 00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:34,737 For company. 159 00:13:35,343 --> 00:13:37,608 I mean, you do go in and out of the penal colony. 160 00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:39,407 There isn't any hotel down there... 161 00:13:39,581 --> 00:13:42,312 and you are quartered at the governor's house. 162 00:13:42,484 --> 00:13:44,248 Oh, the governor. 163 00:13:44,419 --> 00:13:47,014 I can well imagine that he's one of those Thrushbirds... 164 00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:49,249 or whatever you're talking about. 165 00:13:49,424 --> 00:13:50,949 Dirty old man. 166 00:13:51,126 --> 00:13:52,651 Well, you live at his house. 167 00:13:52,828 --> 00:13:57,129 Oh, yes. His one concession to morality, I'm sure. 168 00:13:57,299 --> 00:13:59,063 Anyway, what good does that do you? 169 00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:03,296 I mean, I can't take you home with me, you know, like a bag of groceries. 170 00:14:03,472 --> 00:14:05,100 No, not like a bag of groceries... 171 00:14:05,273 --> 00:14:10,735 but you could take me home if I were your husband. 172 00:14:28,597 --> 00:14:30,896 Just think of it, Cervantes. 173 00:14:31,066 --> 00:14:32,329 Within 12 hours... 174 00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:35,596 I shall be hosting the most elite congregation... 175 00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:39,673 of Thrush officials ever assembled. Mm-hm. 176 00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:43,102 A bit young some of them perhaps, but capable. 177 00:14:43,278 --> 00:14:45,770 The computer will be ready for presentation, sir. 178 00:14:45,947 --> 00:14:48,815 Yes, the computer. Yeah. 179 00:14:48,984 --> 00:14:51,544 You would think that they would come to honor the man... 180 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,780 instead of the machine, wouldn't you? 181 00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:57,153 But, sir, this is the ultimate computer. 182 00:14:57,325 --> 00:15:01,490 Oh, yes, well, they'll have their computer all properly assembled... 183 00:15:01,663 --> 00:15:05,225 toward the obsolescence of the good old human mind. 184 00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:09,466 Oh, and incidentally, don't you two chicks go snuggling up... 185 00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:11,971 with any of those 40- and 50-year-old fellows... 186 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:14,200 just because they're executives, you know. 187 00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:16,174 Remember who's the papa around here. 188 00:15:29,691 --> 00:15:31,785 Hold on to that, monsieur. Go on. 189 00:15:45,206 --> 00:15:48,665 Excuse me, governor. Miss Oliver, she is here with her new husband, sir. 190 00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:50,706 Her husband, eh? She... 191 00:15:50,879 --> 00:15:52,245 I still can't believe it. 192 00:15:53,815 --> 00:15:57,217 You missed out there too, didn't you, huh? Hmm. 193 00:15:57,385 --> 00:16:02,449 Eh, that wicked witch of the north, she sort of appealed to you, I think, huh? 194 00:16:02,891 --> 00:16:05,793 I admire intelligence, governor. 195 00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:09,227 Well, so do I, but what's that got to do with women? 196 00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:12,162 I'm going to have a last-minute check on that computer... 197 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:16,101 and then I'm going to have a look at that not-so-silent... 198 00:16:16,271 --> 00:16:20,675 and not-so-distant U.N.C.L.E. agent that we've inherited from somewhere. 199 00:16:20,842 --> 00:16:22,071 I don't like that. 200 00:16:22,243 --> 00:16:24,235 Just a minute. 201 00:16:25,246 --> 00:16:28,444 Can't you...? Oh. Oh, Miss Oliver. 202 00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:32,145 - Hello, governor. - Yeah, or should I say Mrs... 203 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,812 Toomey, sir. Phillip Toomey. Great pleasure, I'm sure. 204 00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,720 - Mr. Toomey? - Yes. Heh-heh. 205 00:16:36,891 --> 00:16:41,090 There are my two nurses, Mr. Toomey, Flora and Dora. 206 00:16:41,262 --> 00:16:44,232 They help to make life a little easier for me. 207 00:16:47,469 --> 00:16:51,270 And this is Cervantes, the captain of the prison guard. 208 00:16:51,439 --> 00:16:52,463 Yes, sir. Great pleasure. 209 00:16:53,808 --> 00:16:55,436 Yes, of course. 210 00:16:56,778 --> 00:16:58,974 I say, do you golf, captain, by any chance? 211 00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:00,877 - Do I what? - What about you, guv? 212 00:17:01,049 --> 00:17:03,143 Guv, that's good, isn't it? Guv. 213 00:17:03,318 --> 00:17:06,948 Governor, I'll be making my usual rounds at the penal colony this afternoon. 214 00:17:07,122 --> 00:17:09,455 No, come now, this is your honeymoon. 215 00:17:09,624 --> 00:17:12,253 You do know about honeymoons, don't you? 216 00:17:17,499 --> 00:17:20,560 You know, I've lived in this room... 217 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:26,265 but somehow, it doesn't seem quite so dreary with somebody else here. 218 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:29,181 I'm sure that when you really do get married... 219 00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:32,644 that some nice young guy's gonna feel exactly the same way. 220 00:17:33,014 --> 00:17:34,505 Well, I... 221 00:17:34,983 --> 00:17:37,680 I guess I better change for a bath. 222 00:17:44,459 --> 00:17:45,739 Where did you say it was... 223 00:17:45,894 --> 00:17:48,227 when the guards shooed you away from the area? 224 00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:50,794 I was out riding by the river. 225 00:17:50,965 --> 00:17:56,097 Couple of Cervantes' Neanderthals found me and acted as if I was on sacred soil. 226 00:17:56,271 --> 00:17:57,830 Mm-hm. 227 00:17:58,206 --> 00:18:02,735 Is that the river at the north end of the peninsula? 228 00:18:02,911 --> 00:18:04,311 Yes. 229 00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:07,846 Huh. 230 00:18:08,683 --> 00:18:14,953 Well, I might be doing a little boating myself... 231 00:18:15,123 --> 00:18:18,252 this afternoon, my dear. 232 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,926 Hmm. 233 00:18:21,362 --> 00:18:24,526 You be very careful that nobody sees you when you drop this package. 234 00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:27,329 What package? 235 00:18:28,336 --> 00:18:29,804 The... 236 00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:36,305 What's the matter? 237 00:18:41,049 --> 00:18:43,678 Not a thing that I can think of. 238 00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:27,272 Captain Cervantes. 239 00:22:29,744 --> 00:22:31,940 Captain Cervantes. 240 00:22:34,682 --> 00:22:36,116 What? Huh... 241 00:22:36,284 --> 00:22:39,448 Ah, Señora Toomey. 242 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:43,921 How can you justify the use of these whips on human beings? 243 00:22:44,092 --> 00:22:45,390 Ooh! 244 00:22:48,196 --> 00:22:52,327 Well, perhaps the same way you can justify giving aid... 245 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:57,131 to that U.N.C.L.E. agent out there. 246 00:22:57,305 --> 00:22:58,705 What are you talking about? 247 00:22:59,374 --> 00:23:01,934 Also to your so-called husband... 248 00:23:02,110 --> 00:23:06,480 whom, by the way, my men have already arrested for trespassing. 249 00:23:07,048 --> 00:23:11,577 Of course, the governor knows about Kuryakin. 250 00:23:11,753 --> 00:23:15,588 But I think he would be so surprised... 251 00:23:15,757 --> 00:23:18,317 if I told him that your handsome bridegroom... 252 00:23:18,493 --> 00:23:21,053 is also an U.N.C.L.E. agent, that you would have... 253 00:23:21,229 --> 00:23:24,063 very little chance of leaving this place alive. 254 00:23:24,232 --> 00:23:25,825 Please, I'll tell him to leave. 255 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,935 He can go without hurting anything, please. 256 00:23:29,504 --> 00:23:32,599 You are a very spirited girl, Salty. 257 00:23:32,774 --> 00:23:35,767 Also very desirable. 258 00:23:36,077 --> 00:23:39,275 Surely you must know that I have looked on you for some time... 259 00:23:39,447 --> 00:23:41,746 with a degree of longing. 260 00:23:42,216 --> 00:23:43,445 Yes, I know. 261 00:23:43,618 --> 00:23:46,747 Then suppose the governor finds out nothing... 262 00:23:46,921 --> 00:23:49,356 about your Mr. Toomey from me. 263 00:23:49,524 --> 00:23:52,926 Suppose I go so far as to be of service to you. 264 00:23:53,594 --> 00:23:57,429 Your heroes will go free, which is what you want. 265 00:23:58,366 --> 00:24:01,768 And I get you. Which is what I want. 266 00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:05,830 It's a fair deal, mi alma. 267 00:24:07,108 --> 00:24:09,805 You do want your bridegroom to survive? 268 00:24:10,411 --> 00:24:11,504 Yes. 269 00:24:13,047 --> 00:24:14,777 Muy bueno. 270 00:24:15,149 --> 00:24:20,884 Then tell Kuryakin that he need to wait only 10 minutes tonight... 271 00:24:21,055 --> 00:24:24,048 when the cook brings the guards their evening coffee. 272 00:24:24,592 --> 00:24:26,083 It will be drugged. 273 00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,161 He should have no trouble. 274 00:24:29,097 --> 00:24:30,998 And, mi corazon... 275 00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:35,964 if he should ask you how come you got my help so easily... 276 00:24:36,137 --> 00:24:41,166 tell him you just couldn't resist me. 277 00:25:43,471 --> 00:25:47,533 I hope you haven't been too uncomfortable, Mr. Solo. 278 00:25:47,708 --> 00:25:51,475 Oh, no. No, no. Normal, as I should've. 279 00:25:56,284 --> 00:26:00,153 Is this the last one? Yes. 280 00:26:06,627 --> 00:26:11,031 Oh, the weapon is loaded and the bullets are real, yeah. 281 00:26:11,666 --> 00:26:13,635 I'm not quite sure you are. 282 00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:21,242 Very foolish of you to go poking around our generators by yourself, Mr. Solo. 283 00:26:21,676 --> 00:26:25,272 But if they were somehow to be put out of commission... 284 00:26:25,446 --> 00:26:28,746 then your friend, Mr. Kuryakin, will have no difficulties... 285 00:26:28,916 --> 00:26:32,478 with the computer alarm system now, would he? 286 00:26:32,753 --> 00:26:34,654 Well, if the bullets are real, captain... 287 00:26:34,822 --> 00:26:37,189 you'd do well to not move around right now. 288 00:26:38,759 --> 00:26:43,026 I have drugged the prison guards' coffee so your friend should find his job easy... 289 00:26:43,197 --> 00:26:47,225 providing you and I can take out the generators, huh? 290 00:26:49,237 --> 00:26:51,263 Well, well, well? 291 00:26:51,839 --> 00:26:56,539 It's rather odd that a Thrush security captain will be playing Henry Helpful. 292 00:26:56,711 --> 00:26:58,202 Mr. Solo... 293 00:26:58,379 --> 00:27:03,317 in about one hour, several high-ranking Thrush officials will congregate here... 294 00:27:03,484 --> 00:27:06,977 to take delivery of the computer for use against U.N.C.L.E. in the field. 295 00:27:07,154 --> 00:27:09,988 Now, you do have a choice. Yes. 296 00:27:10,157 --> 00:27:15,186 You can either trust me or... 297 00:27:15,363 --> 00:27:18,231 - Yes, as they say, go on. - Heh. 298 00:27:18,399 --> 00:27:22,530 Or you can fail to stop the computer, get killed yourself in the bargain... 299 00:27:22,703 --> 00:27:26,105 and let Thrush conquer the world. 300 00:27:26,274 --> 00:27:28,505 It's up to you, of course. 301 00:27:29,010 --> 00:27:31,036 - Of course. - Heh. 302 00:29:01,369 --> 00:29:04,168 By the way, where's Salty? 303 00:29:05,506 --> 00:29:08,032 Back in the house waiting, safely... 304 00:29:08,209 --> 00:29:09,438 but not for you. 305 00:29:09,610 --> 00:29:14,548 You see, I promise her I'll help you before she and I go away together. 306 00:29:15,082 --> 00:29:17,347 Chivalrous devil, aren't you? 307 00:29:25,025 --> 00:29:26,493 Hold it. 308 00:29:30,331 --> 00:29:34,291 What's the time? When do the guards get that coffee? 309 00:29:35,002 --> 00:29:37,631 The drugs should have worked about 12 minutes ago. 310 00:29:37,805 --> 00:29:40,400 Your friend should be inside by now. 311 00:29:40,574 --> 00:29:44,341 Is that right? With the alarm system still functioning? 312 00:33:11,552 --> 00:33:15,751 I know this one. His name is Rodriguez, he's a very good shot. 313 00:33:16,924 --> 00:33:20,019 Rodriguez! Rodriguez! 314 00:33:24,765 --> 00:33:26,097 Rodriguez! 315 00:33:36,644 --> 00:33:38,738 Rodriguez! 316 00:33:50,391 --> 00:33:56,262 Well, after all, how do you think I got to be captain? 317 00:34:15,549 --> 00:34:17,780 - Well, that's that. - Not quite. 318 00:34:17,951 --> 00:34:20,648 Whatever deal you finagled with Salty, don't count on it. 319 00:34:20,821 --> 00:34:23,120 Oh, but you see, I am counting on it, señor. 320 00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:26,021 You see, after all my bargain was with her, not with you. 321 00:34:26,193 --> 00:34:29,561 Enough. A Thrush doesn't change his feathers just to please a lady. 322 00:34:29,730 --> 00:34:31,790 Now, let's start leveling with each other. 323 00:34:32,599 --> 00:34:36,195 Listen, gringo, I'm in as much trouble as you now. 324 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:40,364 What do you say we get the girl out of here before we kill each other over her? 325 00:34:53,420 --> 00:34:56,219 The job is done. And so am I. 326 00:34:56,390 --> 00:34:59,588 I'm sunburned, blistered, grimy and very, very hungry. 327 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,389 I'm glad I don't have to take you out in public anywhere. 328 00:35:02,563 --> 00:35:06,762 Now, get that disreputable-looking body out of here as fast as you can, posthaste. 329 00:35:06,934 --> 00:35:08,766 I'm going back after Salty. 330 00:35:08,936 --> 00:35:11,167 Going back for Salty, but you can't go alone. 331 00:35:11,338 --> 00:35:14,604 Now, don't make waves, Illya. I'll join you later. 332 00:35:15,209 --> 00:35:16,905 Take care. 333 00:35:31,558 --> 00:35:34,926 Tomorrow morning, you can put in your complaint to Thrush if you want to. 334 00:35:35,095 --> 00:35:38,691 But tonight, whether you like it or not, you are a waiter. 335 00:35:38,866 --> 00:35:39,890 Now, get going. 336 00:35:40,067 --> 00:35:41,501 Si, patron. 337 00:35:41,668 --> 00:35:44,331 And wash your hands. Uh... 338 00:35:45,472 --> 00:35:48,306 Well, well, well. 339 00:35:48,475 --> 00:35:51,968 Well, the blushing bride, what have you done to yourself? 340 00:35:52,146 --> 00:35:55,514 - Having a party, governor? - Yes, indeed I am. 341 00:35:55,682 --> 00:35:59,813 And I would love to have had the newlyweds join us, but... 342 00:36:01,121 --> 00:36:02,350 Thanks just the same. 343 00:36:02,523 --> 00:36:05,960 But we've had other plans and, well, I... 344 00:36:06,126 --> 00:36:09,290 Unfortunately, what with your U.N.C.L.E. bridegroom... 345 00:36:09,463 --> 00:36:15,733 on his way here to get killed and you about to be bound and gagged... 346 00:36:16,503 --> 00:36:19,132 Oh, my dear, how pale you look. Heh. 347 00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:21,909 Perhaps you'd better sit down, huh? 348 00:36:22,609 --> 00:36:23,975 Come in here. 349 00:36:24,378 --> 00:36:27,439 I don't know what you people are up to, but I can advise you to... 350 00:36:27,614 --> 00:36:31,642 Actually, my dear, I have known about the prisoner Kuryakin... 351 00:36:31,819 --> 00:36:35,017 and Napoleon Solo for quite some time now. 352 00:36:35,189 --> 00:36:36,521 Well, now, just a minute. 353 00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:40,058 As a matter of fact it was I who had Cervantes offer you... 354 00:36:40,227 --> 00:36:42,719 that little proposition. 355 00:36:43,530 --> 00:36:45,999 You see, my dear, we've known for some time... 356 00:36:46,166 --> 00:36:50,866 that U.N.C.L.E. would continue assaults against the ultimate computer. 357 00:36:51,038 --> 00:36:54,634 So we allowed that Kuryakin fellow... 358 00:36:54,808 --> 00:36:59,303 to destroy what he thinks was the computer, do you understand? 359 00:36:59,479 --> 00:37:01,471 Well, now see here, governor, you can't... 360 00:37:01,648 --> 00:37:05,380 And Kuryakin will make a daring escape back to U.N.C.L.E... 361 00:37:05,552 --> 00:37:07,453 and report a job well done. 362 00:37:08,522 --> 00:37:13,620 Then they will pat him on the head and they will stop looking for the computer. 363 00:37:13,994 --> 00:37:16,862 Clever, huh? Here, have a drink. 364 00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:19,693 No, thank you. What are you gonna do about Solo? 365 00:37:19,867 --> 00:37:24,464 Oh, your Napoleon? Well, that's another matter. 366 00:37:25,672 --> 00:37:30,667 He should be on his way here right now to rescue you. 367 00:37:30,844 --> 00:37:33,837 Although as far as I'm concerned, I don't see why. 368 00:37:34,014 --> 00:37:36,210 - Go on, have a drink. - No, I don't want a drink. 369 00:37:36,383 --> 00:37:38,784 You let the other one go, why don't you let Solo go? 370 00:37:38,952 --> 00:37:40,545 I'll stay, I'll do what you want. 371 00:37:40,721 --> 00:37:44,351 The only thing I want from you, young lady, is to stop bellowing. 372 00:37:45,025 --> 00:37:46,025 That's my privilege. 373 00:37:48,562 --> 00:37:51,623 I couldn't afford to let two top U.N.C.L.E. officials escape. 374 00:37:51,798 --> 00:37:53,266 That'd be bad business. 375 00:37:54,201 --> 00:37:56,923 There's one thing I will do for you, though. 376 00:37:56,947 --> 00:37:57,365 What? 377 00:37:57,537 --> 00:38:00,735 I'll bury the two of you side by side, how's that? 378 00:38:36,243 --> 00:38:37,643 Salty. 379 00:38:37,811 --> 00:38:39,473 Salty? 380 00:38:40,881 --> 00:38:42,975 - Salty? - We're gonna try downstairs. 381 00:38:43,150 --> 00:38:46,382 The Thrush guests have all arrived, I think. And be careful. 382 00:38:46,553 --> 00:38:50,183 Don't hesitate to use that gun if you have to. I don't want to die here. 383 00:39:05,138 --> 00:39:08,734 Well, well, well, Mr. Solo. 384 00:39:08,909 --> 00:39:11,435 Well, now, where have you been? Hmm? 385 00:39:11,611 --> 00:39:16,345 You look so disheveled and you've lost your mustache too. 386 00:39:16,516 --> 00:39:17,848 Oh, my, my. 387 00:39:18,018 --> 00:39:21,318 Where has he been, Cervantes? 388 00:39:22,923 --> 00:39:24,551 Where would you like me? 389 00:39:24,725 --> 00:39:26,159 In there, please. 390 00:39:28,595 --> 00:39:31,360 And do something about that wailing wife of yours, will you? 391 00:39:31,531 --> 00:39:34,194 She's been crying all over my carpet. 392 00:39:37,337 --> 00:39:38,805 Salty? 393 00:39:40,474 --> 00:39:42,841 - What on Earth have you... - Done to yourself? 394 00:39:43,010 --> 00:39:46,105 Napoleon, your friend destroyed the wrong computer. 395 00:39:46,279 --> 00:39:50,614 I mean, whatever it was he destroyed was the wrong one. 396 00:39:51,752 --> 00:39:55,086 I'm afraid, Mr. Solo, I have not been quite honest with you. 397 00:39:55,255 --> 00:39:57,588 Well, that doesn't come as much of a shock to me. 398 00:39:57,758 --> 00:40:00,023 You let Illya escape so U.N.C.L.E. would think... 399 00:40:00,193 --> 00:40:02,992 that their worries about the ultimate computer were over? 400 00:40:03,163 --> 00:40:06,292 Mmm. Very astute for a young fellow. 401 00:40:06,466 --> 00:40:09,698 Governor, we better hurry. The men are ready to bring the computer up. 402 00:40:09,870 --> 00:40:10,894 Very fine, very fine. 403 00:40:11,071 --> 00:40:15,634 Mr. Solo, we'll come back later and kill you... 404 00:40:15,809 --> 00:40:18,301 after all the strangers leave. 405 00:40:18,478 --> 00:40:20,743 Oh. I see, you mean the bigwigs might get worried... 406 00:40:20,914 --> 00:40:24,043 if they thought us little U.N.C.L.E. agents were sneaking around, huh? 407 00:40:24,217 --> 00:40:26,152 Oh, nonsense. 408 00:40:26,319 --> 00:40:30,450 We wouldn't want to upset them while they're praising me, you know. 409 00:40:30,624 --> 00:40:34,561 Oh, yes. Might I borrow your pen, please? 410 00:40:34,728 --> 00:40:35,957 Yes. 411 00:40:36,129 --> 00:40:39,258 Thank you very much. 412 00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:41,596 Napoleon? 413 00:40:42,235 --> 00:40:43,863 Napoleon? 414 00:41:27,214 --> 00:41:28,910 - Napoleon? - Hmm? 415 00:41:30,183 --> 00:41:32,618 Could you have been attracted to me? 416 00:41:32,786 --> 00:41:35,119 Aside from our being married, I mean. 417 00:41:35,288 --> 00:41:37,328 Well, if I weren't quite so tied up at the moment... 418 00:41:37,457 --> 00:41:38,789 I would show you. 419 00:41:40,193 --> 00:41:41,923 That's nice. 420 00:41:42,496 --> 00:41:43,725 You know, it's funny... 421 00:41:43,897 --> 00:41:47,891 when you're time's running out, you begin regretting... 422 00:41:48,268 --> 00:41:49,998 I mean, I... 423 00:41:50,170 --> 00:41:55,939 Well, I think one should take one's emotions when one can... 424 00:41:56,109 --> 00:41:57,907 shouldn't one? 425 00:42:03,783 --> 00:42:05,649 Indubitably. 426 00:42:07,420 --> 00:42:11,118 Many months ago, Thrush honored me... 427 00:42:11,291 --> 00:42:17,492 by leaving the ultimate computer in my care for its final preparation. 428 00:42:17,664 --> 00:42:20,259 And I can modestly say that now... 429 00:42:20,433 --> 00:42:26,862 as I near the end of my long and devoted Thrush career... 430 00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,538 Engineering and maintenance. 431 00:43:04,878 --> 00:43:07,211 Be careful, you fools. Yes, down this way, please. 432 00:43:07,380 --> 00:43:10,282 Very, very careful, yes. Now, bring it in there, here. 433 00:43:10,450 --> 00:43:11,975 You, all of you, come with us inside. 434 00:43:13,353 --> 00:43:15,015 Come on. 435 00:43:15,355 --> 00:43:18,792 No, no, no, not you. Get back there at the door. 436 00:43:28,568 --> 00:43:31,595 And as, like that old soldier... 437 00:43:31,771 --> 00:43:38,007 am about to slowly fade away, I... 438 00:43:41,681 --> 00:43:43,445 U.N.C.L.E. agent. 439 00:43:50,557 --> 00:43:51,957 Aah! 440 00:44:03,270 --> 00:44:06,206 Can't you do anything right? You're supposed to be halfway home. 441 00:44:06,373 --> 00:44:09,400 Me? Is it me that got himself tied up like a helpless child? 442 00:44:09,576 --> 00:44:12,045 No. It's you who blew up the wrong computer, though. 443 00:44:12,212 --> 00:44:14,681 - What? - The real one's right here in the house. 444 00:44:14,848 --> 00:44:16,214 Oh, that's what it was. 445 00:44:16,383 --> 00:44:18,079 - How awkward. - Mm-hm. 446 00:44:18,251 --> 00:44:21,221 Those Thrush are going to take the computer when they leave here. 447 00:44:21,388 --> 00:44:24,256 Either we barge in there right now and nail it or we lose it. 448 00:44:24,424 --> 00:44:25,824 The guards, they'll shoot you. 449 00:44:29,996 --> 00:44:33,125 - Heh. - Oh, no. You don't understand. 450 00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:35,531 You're gonna get killed. 451 00:44:35,702 --> 00:44:40,970 And for a practical demonstration of how thoroughly the computer has replaced... 452 00:44:41,141 --> 00:44:46,739 the need for mere human intelligence, I shall now... 453 00:44:46,913 --> 00:44:48,677 Good evening. 454 00:44:49,816 --> 00:44:51,580 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 455 00:44:52,018 --> 00:44:53,987 Hello, sir. Good evening, madam. 456 00:44:54,521 --> 00:44:56,422 Enjoying your fruit there? Isn't it nice? 457 00:44:58,158 --> 00:44:59,626 Very nice. 458 00:44:59,793 --> 00:45:01,921 Good evening, sir. 459 00:45:03,963 --> 00:45:05,397 Sorry to be late, governor. 460 00:45:05,565 --> 00:45:08,125 Stop her. Stop her. 461 00:45:13,573 --> 00:45:16,509 All right, folks. Step to the rear of the bus, please. 462 00:45:17,110 --> 00:45:19,739 The prisoners are escaping! The U.N.C.L.E. agent. 463 00:45:19,913 --> 00:45:23,577 Cervantes, Cervantes. Stay here, stay here. 464 00:45:23,983 --> 00:45:26,145 They went outside. 465 00:45:27,687 --> 00:45:30,247 They went outside! 466 00:45:46,373 --> 00:45:49,969 Now, if you wanna save your little magic pinball machine... 467 00:45:50,143 --> 00:45:52,135 all you've gotta do is rush me. 468 00:45:52,312 --> 00:45:53,644 You see, I only got one bomb. 469 00:45:54,581 --> 00:45:58,040 And all I have to do is toss it your way instead of this way, see? 470 00:45:58,585 --> 00:46:00,213 Security, huh? 471 00:46:00,387 --> 00:46:01,787 Good luck. 472 00:46:06,292 --> 00:46:09,785 Hey, our prisoner! The Jeep! Stop him! 473 00:46:32,685 --> 00:46:34,586 Do something. Do something. 474 00:46:34,754 --> 00:46:37,349 Oh, please don't get sneaky. I'm warning you. 475 00:46:39,426 --> 00:46:41,452 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 476 00:46:43,062 --> 00:46:44,963 Good girl, Salty. 477 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,130 We'll be leaving. 478 00:46:49,302 --> 00:46:51,430 This is going to explode, ladies and gentlemen. 479 00:46:51,738 --> 00:46:52,938 If Thrush gives award... 480 00:46:53,106 --> 00:46:55,226 you don't mind the possibility of a posthumous one. 481 00:46:55,742 --> 00:46:58,439 And I would suggest that you come and get it. 482 00:46:58,611 --> 00:47:00,102 All right. 483 00:47:03,483 --> 00:47:06,078 - Old man, you've made a bad mistake. - Hmm. 484 00:47:08,755 --> 00:47:11,054 - Bye-bye, baby. - Bye, sweetie. 485 00:47:21,534 --> 00:47:23,093 Oh. 486 00:47:23,536 --> 00:47:24,970 - Oh, no, fatso. - Uhn! Uhn! 487 00:47:25,138 --> 00:47:27,004 No, no. Stay, fatso... 488 00:47:27,173 --> 00:47:30,837 and enjoy your mechanical marvel a little while longer, huh? 489 00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:32,501 - Governor! - Eeeh. 490 00:47:42,055 --> 00:47:43,683 Tilt. 491 00:47:49,562 --> 00:47:51,690 Oh, there's filthy now. 492 00:47:52,432 --> 00:47:55,061 Stop fiddling with that. It's time to go and take a bath. 493 00:47:55,235 --> 00:47:57,204 Fiddling? I can't get this thing to work. 494 00:47:57,370 --> 00:47:59,100 I've radioed the Chacuan police... 495 00:47:59,272 --> 00:48:01,832 but there are Thrush guards all over the countryside. 496 00:48:02,008 --> 00:48:03,704 Napoleon. 497 00:48:04,911 --> 00:48:06,402 Napoleon? 498 00:48:09,182 --> 00:48:10,844 Napoleon! 499 00:48:15,121 --> 00:48:17,716 Oh, Salty, my love, the first evening we're back in New York... 500 00:48:17,891 --> 00:48:19,883 is going to rival the night on Olympus. 501 00:48:20,260 --> 00:48:26,200 The wine, the warmth and us. 502 00:48:26,633 --> 00:48:28,397 Oh, not you. 503 00:48:28,568 --> 00:48:31,561 I thought you will be more special than the rest of them. 504 00:48:31,738 --> 00:48:33,138 - Ahem - The rest of them? 505 00:48:33,306 --> 00:48:34,306 The rest of them. 506 00:48:34,474 --> 00:48:35,840 Yes, he has a kind of an odd... 507 00:48:37,443 --> 00:48:39,571 - Well, you see, occasionally... - Napoleon Solo.